Sunday, April 1, 2012

In Which Re Remember Rozz Williams

Christian Death - Only Theatre Of Pain - I somehow missed out on this one in the early nineties when I was getting into Gothic, and death rock.  That's a shame, because this record is really good.  I remember seeing Christan Death Shirts around a lot, in the brief, glorious era when I was getting into punk, and we were all less concerned with genre and subculture loyalty, and you would see punks, and goths hanging out at the same shows.  My experience may have been unique having grown up in a small town, surrounded by scary rednecks on all sides, but I'd like to think that weirdo loyalty has always been around, and there will be a resurgence of it someday. 
This record has been written about countless times over the last thirty(!) years.  Only Theatre Of Pain more or less ushered in the beginning of gothic rock in the united states.  Rozz Williams took the stage like a terrifying, gender bending, nightmare swooping down over the sunshine and picket fences of Southern California in the early 80's.  He had a gift for disturbing imagery in lyrics, that dripped with pain and anguish, and were arguably him trying as hard as he could to exorcise some serious demons before they would bring about his end, which they ultimately, sadly, did.  I think that's what speaks so strongly to me about this record.  the genuineness of the angst, grief, and despondency.  It could be argued that mainstream shock rockers like Marilyn Manson took the formula that bands like Christian Death created, watered it down, and found mainstream success.  Something that seemed to always elude Rozz Williams, if indeed, it's something he even looked for.  It may be at times overwrought, or dramatic, but it's not fake.  Just look at the lives in individuals in this band led.  I don't know if there is what you'd call a happy ending for anyone involved.  This is utter the utter self annihilation suburban Southern California in the 1980's. It's chipped black nail polish, it's self injury, locked in your bedroom at your parents house, it's waking up day after day to the dry, sunny heat, and knowing that you'll never fit in the world, and there very well may be no future, and no hope.  It's not finding a place to call home even in the completely seedy underbelly of Los Angeles, sleepless nights, and hazy days.  It's trying as hard as you can to escape from the constraints of a life not of your choosing, and creating something tragic and beautiful in the process.

Rozz Williams took his own life on April 1st, 1998.  Until our children and loved ones no longer see only one way out...